Finding my way

    Its been a bumpy road the past few years.  I have had a few situations and instances in my life that has lead me to question Gods plan for me.  One of my very good friends recently had a terrible tragedy and lost her little boy, who was only 6 mos. old.  My heart aches for her and her baby.  I often think of her and ask God, "Why?"  I can't begin to understand losing a child and why this has happened.

    Last weekend we traveled all the way to Oregon to visit Joeys Grandpa (who I love to death!) There were like 25 of us that all went up there to spend the holiday weekend with him on his farm.  It was amazing.  I found myself sitting in church with everyone on a beautiful Sunday morning knowing (not wondering or thinking)  this is where I belong.  I felt peace, calm and happiness.  The only thing that was missing was "understanding."  Trying to understand why we each have our own trials and why God tests some of us more than others.   What I have realized is I will never know exactly what my plan is and I may not always understand everything that happens, but I do know he is beside me and will give me the strength and courage I need during my dark hours.

   This past Sunday morning,  as I got up to get ready for church, I immediately felt his presence with me.  It was strange and of course, I didn't understand it, but it reassured me I was doing what I should be.  His presence was so strong, I thought I could reach out and grab him.  Everything seemed to go smoothly- the girls got up, ate and got dressed.  There was no hassling or fighting with them.  We were even running ahead of time and made it there early.  During sacrament, I asked Joey if he felt what I was feeling in that moment?  All I got was a smile, so I assume he felt it too (you'll have to ask him what he was feeling.)  I know I received the answer I have been praying for.   I still don't understand why some things in life happen to each one of us, and why we have the heart ache we have, but I know its for a reason and pray good things come from all of it.  I have heard, my friends little boy is lucky to be sitting with God, but if you ask me, God is lucky to be sitting with him.    I have to include these pictures of my little girls - they are so beautiful and I am blessed to have each one of them.

                        Karlee would not stand with us... of course!